Endings Never Are
by Bensler
Summary: What could/would/should happen after Smoked. My version of the true Special Victims Unit Season 13 Series Finale.  CAUTION: Beware, Mr. Wolf. Heavy EO ahead!


Since I am still reeling from the unfair, rude and callous ending to the Benson/Stabler relationship which was a slap in the face to the actors as well as the fans, I have taken it upon myself to rectify the situation as I have often done through my fanfics. So, CAUTION: Bewar, Mr. Wolf. Heavy EO ahead!

DISCLAIMER THINGY: I love 'em but they aren't mine. And because I love 'em I could never have treated them so poorly as Dick Wolf and company. Were that they did belong to me so I could make everything right in real life! " / Bensler

**Endings Never Are**

**By Bensler**

**SVU Squad Room – January 9, 2012 - 6:45 p.m.**

Hesitantly, he entered the squad room. Not once had he come back since that day. The day the sound of gunshots pierced the already chaotic atmosphere of the one-six. The day he sacrificed a distraught fifteen year old to save others. He shook his head and corrected his thoughts – to save Olivia, his partner. That day was the first in a series of endings for him. He chose not to dwell on that incident. As he surveyed his surroundings, he was surprised to see not much changed. And yet _everything_ had changed. His life had been completely uprooted and only recently had he begun to feel settled. It was a feeling he wasn't sure he had ever experienced.

He couldn't help but search out their desks. His. Hers. Though the personal effects were different on his, the desks remained in the same place. A new detective laid claim to his now, and soon Olivia's would belong to another. He smiled as his gaze fell upon a picture of the two of them taken too many years ago to remember exactly when. The picture, the desks brought back so many memories. So many hours spent with only those two desks between him and Olivia. So many hours discussing a case; sharing a joke; talking about everything and anything; hours, even days not talking at all unless trading insults or shouting angry, hurtful words. Hours upon hours filling out mounds of paperwork over pots of coffee and later tea, when Olivia had made it her beverage of choice. Endless minutes that dragged on when they had argued and weren't speaking at all; intimate moments when they could just look at each other and know exactly how the other felt, what they meant, what they needed. And wanted. It was a room fraught with a lifetime of memories. A life he left behind nearly eight months ago.

The lilting laughter drew his focus from the past. Finding its source, he smiled as his heart quickened in his chest. From across the room, he watched her. Content to see she was enjoying the evening. It was, after all, a celebration for her. Brilliant smile, twinkling eyes. Talking and laughing. Hugging and being hugged. Shaking hands amidst the choruses of 'congratulations', 'great work', 'you deserved this' and more along that vein. Munch stood at her side talking as Fin brought her another drink. She smiled at the two men. But even through the smiles he could tell she was not quite at peace. Something was missing.

Her promotion had been a long time in coming and he remembered the night she told him she had finally spoken with Cragen about her dissatisfaction and restlessness with her job.

At that point, Elliot had been gone just over three months. They had met for dinner at My-Lings, their favorite Chinese restaurant.

"_I talked to Cragen today," she informed him quietly as she poked at her lo mien noodles and chicken with her chopsticks._

_His own chopsticks halfway to his mouth, Elliot paused and watched her. "Yeah?" He already knew what she meant because the two had discussed it repeatedly since he had left the unit after the shooting._

_She nodded then smiled. "He said he was surprised it took me this long to come to him."_

"_Really?" _

"_Really. He had expected to see me within the first few weeks after you said you weren't coming back. He saw how unfocused I'd become. And too quiet. Said he really worried about me but trusted me to talk to him when I was ready."_

"_What's he gonna do?" Elliot filled his mouth with rice and beef._

"_Told me about a new position that was due to open up soon and thought I'd be perfect for it," she told him, still playing with her food. _

_Elliot was puzzled. "New position?"_

"_You know the number of sex crimes, child and elder abuse have skyrocketed over the last five to seven years. Well, Cragen said One PP had been creating a new position that will essentially be an assistant to the Special Victims Division commanding officer."_

"_Division? Sounds like a promotion?" Elliot grinned.__ He knew the Special Victims Division was responsible for overseeing all NYPD's Special Victims Units._

_Olivia broke into a big grin and nodded, "Yeah. It would be. I'd actually be helping the CO supervise the investigations in all five boroughs. And my office would be at One PP."_

"_Wow! All five? One PP? It _better_ be a promotion! Hey, you still gonna remember me when you're rubbing elbows with the brass, right?"_

_Tilting her head, she pretended to be in deep thought, as her brows drew together. "Well, I will need to be more mindful with whom I keep company. I mean, after all, Ed will be just down the hall and I suppose I'll even have to be _nice_ to him."_

_Elliot nearly choked on her flippant use of the lieutenant's first name, 'Ed'. "Olivia! That was not even funny!" he told her as she roared with laughter. "How can you sit there and joke about Tucker?" _

"_Because I love watching you squirm," she whispered teasingly as she winked. "You should see your face."_

"_That s.o.b. caused us more grief…" Elliot shook his head._

"_That he did," she agreed. _

_Elliot speared a huge piece of chicken from her plate and popped it in his mouth._

"_Hey!" She reached over and slapped his hand. "That was the last piece, you jerk!" _

_With a smirk Elliot countered, "That'll teach you to kid about Tucker." _

It had taken almost three more months for the position to open and another two for the applications to be processed, interviews done and the selection made. Before the job opened, Captain Cragen had encouraged Olivia to take the Sergeant's exam. So, now Sgt. Olivia Benson graciously accepted accolades on her new position, Assistant to the Commanding Officer of the Special Victims Division, NYPD.

During a lull in the praises, she turned and scanned the room. Looking. For him. When their eyes locked, her smile widened and Elliot saw something new on her face. The missing element from earlier. Peace. She was now at peace; settled. And _he_ was the reason. He was beyond honored and overwhelmed that he could provide that for her. Just like she did for him.

They started toward one another and when he was close enough, he leaned over, kissed her cheek and whispered in her ear, "Sgt. Benson, you look amazing in that dress."

The navy blue dress had been her choice for the evening because she knew he loved it on her. Still she couldn't help but blush at his compliment. "Thank you," she whispered back, reaching down to take his hand and intertwine their fingers.

Elliot smiled at her and pulled her hand to his lips to gently kiss it. "I'm so proud of you."

All the emotions she had been holding at bay seemed to rush in from nowhere. Her eyes watered and she thought her heart could not take the overwhelming thankfulness she felt at the profound changes that had taken place in her life over the last eight months. She thought back to that day when her foundation began to shift, falter and fail.

_The squad room erupted with gunfire and they were all momentarily shocked. Sister Peg's blood was gushing through Olivia's fingers as she looked up at the tragedy unfolding before her. Olivia thought Jenna she had left but there she stood, gun in hand, seeking revenge for her mother's death. How could this be? How did she get past security with a weapon? Amidst Elliot's demands for Jenna to put down the gun, Olivia remembered thinking 'please, please don't let him be the one to have to shoot. Let the unis or someone else get here, please.' But life rarely works out the way you hope and when Jenna leveled the gun to shoot again, Elliot called out one more time before dropping her._

_Scrambling quickly to the young girl's side, he looked up at Olivia. The horror stricken expression on Elliot's face was all she needed to see to know that very instant was the ending to the life she had known for twelve years._

_Hours later, the dead had been removed, the injured carted off for medical care, everyone present had given statements, AB had grilled Elliot and taken his gun, and Olivia had just left Captain Cragen's office where she and Fin had again recounted the events leading to the calamity. She needed to talk to Elliot. She knew he was a mess. She had not seen him leave, but she knew he would not have stayed. Not with CSU still going over the squad room._

_Calls to his cell phone went unanswered, as did her numerous texts. Leaving the precinct, something came to mind. The sun was low in the sky when she found him. Sitting on a bench in Battery Park staring out into the harbor. For several minutes she watched him. His profile, so familiar, so comforting to her most times. But now she saw his turmoil – or maybe she _felt_ it. They had this weird connection from the beginning. A connection where words were not always necessary to know the others mind and heart. Quietly, she moved to sit beside him. He didn't acknowledge her so she just sat there, content to be near him._

_Long minutes later he spoke. "Did you know this p__ark got its name from the Dutch settlers in 1623 when they built the first battery of cannons to defend the city?" His gaze was locked on something in the distance._

_Puzzled at his choice of subjects, she raised an eyebrow but did not look at him. "Of course, I know that. Lived here all my life, El."_

_He nodded. "They built those batteries to protect them from enemies from the outside. You think they ever thought this city would need to be protected from those who live here and call it home? From the scum we see every day?"_

_She didn't really know what to say. "It was a different world then, Elliot."_

_He stood up and walked to the railing closer to the river. She followed him and mimicked his position, leaning with her arms crossed and resting on the rails._

"_I'm not going back, Olivia," he said in a voice gruff with emotion._

_Her heart jumped to her throat. "Elliot…you did what you had to do," she reasoned._

"_I killed a fifteen year old kid!" he spoke with clipped words._

"_A kid with a gun who had already killed and was bent on revenge. There was nothing else you could have done." She reached over and put her hand on his arm._

_Jerking away from her as though he'd been scorched, he shook his head. "You don't get it. I shot her because I was afraid if she started shooting again…this time…this time…" he trailed off running his hands over his face._

"_This time what?" Olivia asked softly. _

_His eyes fell shut as he shook his head. "This time…you'd be the one I'd watch die," he rasped._

_Stunned, Olivia stared at him. This had never crossed her mind. It should have, but it hadn't._

_She moved to touch him again and he backed away._

"_No. I can't…you really don't get it, do you?" His eyes begged for her to understand what he meant without actually saying it._

"_Elliot, don't." She was sure she knew what he was referring to, but she had determined years ago all that was best left in the past. Where it didn't hurt as much. Gitano had nearly destroyed both of them._

_He was not one to listen much and the words tumbled out. "I chose you again, Olivia." This time he was the one to move toward her taking her by her shoulders and pulling her close as he looked into her eyes. "And I'd do the same thing again. Every single time, Olivia. I would chose _you_. You. Not a member of the public I'm sworn to protect. You, Olivia."_

_There was nothing left to say. She knew his mind was made up. And she knew he was right because she would do the same thing. He just had the guts to finally admit it._

_After a couple of months off while he underwent intense counseling, Elliot transferred to the Police Academy and became an instructor. Olivia didn't know how to work without him by her side or at least knowing he would be at his desk when she got back. She talked to him a handful of times when he first left but didn't see him for four months. Those days were among her darkest._

"Hey, ain't you got a speech to make?" Fin asked Olivia as he and Elliot finished their conversation.

Olivia snapped back to the present. "Yeah, as soon as Cap'n says its time."

As if on cue, Captain Cragen appeared. "Elliot." Don extended his hand then pulled Elliot into a hug. "Good to see you. You okay?"

Elliot chuckled. "Don, you just saw me last weekend." The captain had the old SVU gang over for dinner and a game of poker last Saturday.

Cragen's eyes bored into his. "I know…but this is the…the first time you've been back. Just wondered how you're doing?"

"Lots of memories. Bad and good. But I'm okay. In fact, I'm more than okay," he turned his head to look at Olivia and pulled her close.

"Good." Don smiled and looked over at Olivia. "Well, Sarge, you ready?"

"Yes, sir. I'm ready Captain."

"Let's go."

"I'm so proud of you." Elliot kissed her hand again as he looked her in the eye. "Knock 'em dead, Benson."

Her smile said it all. Cragen took her by the arm and led her to the front of the squad room that had been cleared to make room for a small stage area that held a podium.

"Ladies, gentlemen, your attention, please," Don called out then waited for the chatter to die down.

"Tonight we are here to celebrate an ending to a great time for the SVU. Endings are usually thought of as being sad, but they can be good - like when something painful or dreadful ceases. Endings can be bad or sad, when something really good is over. As Captain of the Special Victims Unit for almost fifteen years, I have had the privilege of leading a group of men and women whom, in my opinion, are truly among New York's finest. The finest detectives, the best of friends." His voice cracked and he took a deep, shaky breath.

"In the past there have been others who have come and gone - endings to relationships I treasured. Tonight, a very special woman leaves this unit for a supervisory position at the Special Victims Division. In the last twelve and half years, she had become the daughter I never had. A woman, I am honored and proud to have stood beside as we have served the city of New York. She has been tireless in her quest to solve the most heart wrenching cases in law enforcement; determined to bring closure to the victims; she has persevered for nearly thirteen years in a job where the average stay is two; and in her dedication I have seen her leave a piece of her heart with each and every victim along the way, yet she still has the biggest heart of anyone I know. Tonight it is with great pride I present to you a someone who is very dear to me whom I deeply respect and will miss more than I can express as her time under my command at SVU comes to an end. Ladies and gentlemen, Sgt. Olivia Benson."

Applause, cat calls and whistles met the captain's introduction. Olivia was grinning ear to ear as she stepped up to the podium. She and Cragen embraced for a long time as the applause grew louder then waned. She had to brush away tears and swallow the lump in her throat.

"When I walked into this squad room twelve and half years ago, I thought I was just walking into a new position. I never dreamed I would find men and women who would come to mean so much to me…become my family. I am thrilled and honored to have been given this promotion and the opportunity to help guide a new generation of detectives as they continue the work of the SVU. And as much as I look forward to that, it is with sadness that I leave Captain Cragen." She turned to Don. "You have been the father figure in my life, guided and molded me to help me become the detective and woman I am today." Cragen smiled and she brushed tears away. "Munch, Fin. What can I say? You guys are like my brothers – always there to tease, advise, protect and put me in my place when I need it. I love all of you guys.

But as special as you three are to me, there is one person without whom I would never have been standing here tonight." Glancing at Elliot, her smile was bright and beautiful. "The first time we met I knew he would always be a part of my life. For twelve years he was my partner but he was so much more than that – he became my best friend. My confidante. He pushed me to go on when I didn't think I could; shared the horror and injustice of the perversion we saw each day. We stood beside each other during the tough times, the laughter, the joking and the tears. Without him I would have quit the unit long ago. It takes far too much from you. When he transferred out of the unit eight months ago, I didn't know what to do. Then this job came up. And well, while one very important chapter in my life is ending, another chapter is opened. And it is all because of my former partner, Detective Elliot Stabler."

Olivia turned to Elliot and began clapping and the crowd followed suit. Elliot beamed as he made his way to Olivia. They hugged and then he turned to the group of curious onlookers.

"This may not be the place to say these things, but what the heck. I am so proud of this woman I think my chest is about to burst." He pulled her to him in a tight hug. "While I hated giving up my job here, it was time. Olivia's right. It does take far too much from you. But it also gave me…" Elliot looked at Olivia as though seeking permission to say the next words. She gave a nearly imperceptible nod. "It gave _us _something very special. Most of you know Olivia and I have been together for three months now. Well, just last night I asked her a question and…"

Olivia could not contain herself and interrupted, "And I said 'YES'!" She grabbed Elliot and kissed him hard. The crowd roared with laughter.

Elliot grinned from ear to ear. "That's right. And when we set a date, you are all invited!"

The sound was deafening as the whole room reacted to the news with whoops and hollers as they pressed in to hug and congratulate the couple.

Later, lying in each other arms curled up on the couch, Elliot remembered the night he came to her after not seeing her for nearly four months.

"_I left Kathy."_

_Wordlessly, Olivia let him in and went to get two beers from the refrigerator without asking if wanted one. _

_He took it from her and rolled it between his hands. "I should have signed the papers and stayed away from her five years ago. I should never have gone back, Liv. Never."_

"_Why are you telling me all this?"_

"_Because I…I should have manned up and told you then."_

_Olivia wasn't following his thought process. "Told me what?"_

_Exasperated, Elliot scoffed. "Come on, Benson, don't make this any harder than it already is."_

"_Elliot, I'm not trying to…"_

_He put the bottle on the counter and rubbed his forehead. "Olivia, I should have signed the papers, let the divorce go through, and stayed away from Kathy because I was in love with someone else. I just…I didn't want to be a failure…but my marriage had failed years before Kathy left. "_

_Olivia's eyes widened. "Someone else?"_

_He nodded his head._

"_Why didn't you tell me?" she asked in a hurt voice._

_He snorted and wrapped his arms around her. "I was afraid you didn't feel the same."_

"_What?"_

Elliot smiled just thinking about her reaction. He had kissed her then and straight out told her 'I love you.' And to his utter relief she had replied with the same words. After much discussion they decided to give it another month before they would try their hand at a relationship. By then it had been five months since he had left and three since his divorce was final. And now here they were three months in and they had never gotten along as well as they did now. There were still some loud arguments, but neither could stay mad at the other very long.

Olivia shifted beside him. "Whatcha thinking 'bout, Stabler?"

Kissing the top of her head, he told her. "How lucky I am to have you. And how endings never are."

"Endings never are?" She kissed his stubble covered chin.

"That day…with the shooting…I thought everything I had worked for was over, my life was ending. The job I loved, my partnership with you. And when I was home those two months, things with Kathy went from bad to worse and then my marriage was ending. Again. But tonight listening to Cragen and you speak, I realized there are no such things as endings because endings are really just new beginnings. If I hadn't left SVU, we would still be there trudging along in the same rut. But now we have a new life together to look forward to. So, endings never are."

Olivia turned her face up to his to meet his lips in a long kiss.

"Stabler, I think you are onto something," she whispered.

**Take that and that and that, Mr. Wolf! " ) Bensler**

~ ~ ~ eoeoeoeo ~ ~ ~


End file.
